Friday, November 20, 2009

Sad Feelings

As I was driving away from the social services office this morning after dropping off A and all his stuff, I experienced a profound sadness, and by the time I entered the train station parking lot, I was bawling. I think it was a combination of things; the unfairness of all the problems little A has had heaped on him in his short life, how in this case the foster care system probably hurt him more than helped, and my shame for not being able to keep him until he could return home to his parents. At the same time I had conflicting feelings of relief.

I don’t like this part of foster parenting.

When I got to the office I wrote to his social worker about my feelings and asked her to tell me how the meeting with his new foster mother went. She wrote back right away, reporting that she left A happily playing with two dogs that live at his new home. This made me feel better.

(Note: After initially publishing this post, I decided to remove a statement that might later hurt someone's feelings. This blog is not the right place for these kinds of details. They need to remain private. However, this means that you readers may not always understand why things happen.)